Hey You, Read This

I know you read this. Sometimes you look at it while I’m at work. That’s okay. I started writing this because I want you to see a new side of me. A side that I sometimes don’t have words for. I know I keep stuff in, and I’m slowly getting better at that. You help a lot. But when I write, I pour my heart into it, so I thought this would be an easy way for you to see. Like a window into my mind, which I’m sure is a place you don’t want to go.
I’ll be honest, I’m as scared as you are. I know I put on a brave face for you, tell you everything will be okay, and laugh off all your questions. The truth is, I’m just as terrified as you are. However, I know you’ll be there, by my side, in the end.
I don’t want you to leave. In the last two years, we have talked every day. We have never missed a day. It’ll be so hard for me when you are suddenly gone for two months. I’m not ready for it, I’m not excited for it. I’m not happy about it, either. I know I’ll make it though, and so will you. When that day comes when I get to see your face, I’ll be proud. I’ll know that our pain and suffering will be worth it.
Our futures bright and if there isn’t a way, we’ll make one. I know we’ll figure out whatever comes at us, whether it is marriage, children, deployment, or loss. Everything will be okay because we’re going to go far, kid.
For now, I just need you to know that I’ll stick behind you, no matter the decisions you make in the years too come. I believe in you and I will always believe in what you do. I know I’m bias, but I honestly think this is what is best for you. You need this commitment. It’ll be a challenge that will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but I know how you like a challenge. I think it will give you the confident and self esteem that you’ve been searching for. I hope it gives you the strength to become who you want to be and give you a job that you’ll love.
No matter what happens, whatever you’d decide, things will work out. I love you and I have loved you since pre-school. Nothing will ever change with us. I know if you’d decide to go into the Air Force, it’ll change you. But I know it’ll change you for the best. Just remember how much I love you. When deciding what you want to do, do it for yourself, honey. If not, you’ll never be happy. No one else is going to have to do what you’ll have to do, so their opinions won’t matter. Not even mine. Follow your heart and hold my hand, that’s all I ask. I love you.

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